The silent whispers of the night, the tiredness in my body and the many wandering thoughts i have suppresses the atmosphere as i type and dwell on the year 2010. I have started to really think about each and every year after my great friend, Yi Peng told me it would help. Well i do hope so. So let me analyze my year.
♥ Highlights ♥
1)Going to London and enjoying myself thanks to my aunt and uncle
2)Have no problem with exams
3) Going home in the summer and being with friends and family
4)Serving in MASSAD
5)Being part of C1
:( Downs :(
1)Mum had a heart problem
2) Sister sick with chicken pox
3)Rumours, rumours rumours
4)Something personal
5)Losing people whom i trusted
6) Lost hope of trusting people
7) Olga Semenyek
8)I failed you CD, YP and Sk
As far as i can see, it has not been a good year for me. 2010 is about to me my past and really the emotional roller coaster ride i went through took alot of me and i just wanna stop expecting anything. When you expect, the people around tend to fail you. Im just gonna believe in myself more and do things by the scruff of its neck.
For everyone out there i just wanna wish you guys a awesome HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011
Friday 31 December 2010
Wednesday 22 December 2010
Reality Hurts Real Badly
Have you ever felt alone and nothing makes sense? Thats how i kinda feel right now....facing everything by myself and nothing but tears and a fake smile
Being away from loved ones takes a toll and heavy burden. Everyday i reminiscent about them, wishing i could be with them right now. I just dont know how lovely they are to be with.
In Moscow, facing people has been so disappointing. Especially hostel life. Rumours run and spread like a fire on a bush. People judge people and its an ugly quality. Why i can even trust anyone here. Its so pathetic that this are the traits of future doctors. So how can Malaysia produce doctors with this kind of attitude?
I feel under appreciated. People forget you, forget what you have done for them and even how they have impacted your life. It seems like a distant memory. People just seem to be selfish to just divert the blame elsewhere. Yet i have to be the better man and apologize all the time. Im sick of it.
You think you seem to know people by spending time with them and really trying to foster a kind of meaningful relationship. You make sacrifices and somehow its goes all wrong. In the end I get hurt, always i and no one else.
This Christmas i just wanna give more and more. I giving everything i have away. I dont have stability to even stop and thinking of what im giving. This Christmas i just wanna be alone and just wonder the " could, might and shall be".
Monday 20 December 2010
Busy Busy Busy!!!
What a week it has been. From having meetings to organizing and planning Christmas to studying. So packed into a few weeks and yet i survived. So many troubles somehow seem to find me as if metaphorically im the "magnet" which attracts them.
I can safely say my education has never deteriorated even with MASSAD. I wont say this proudly because studying in Russia is no mean feat. Practically anyone can do it. I will elaborate more about their education system maybe in future post. Like one a great friend once told me, " No one is born smart or stupid, just that either people are lazy or hardworking". That practically makes sense. But of course in Russia there are a few troublesome lecturers so cant really blame some students
I really have neglected my friends back in Singapore and Malaysia. Guys, i really miss you. You're the best and never disappointed me no matter how many times i disappointed you guys. I really hope i can make time for you guys to skype and chat about our usual banter
Well im sick of rumours and everything. I really feel people have no better things to do in their lives than to talk about other people. It's so superficial of them as if they are so perfect. This kind of people disgust me and i have zero tolerance. So what if i am who i am.....deal with it
Lastly i dont know why but it seems its getting worse. Did i do anything wrong? Did i blame you? Did i gossip about you? No i didnt...yet i feel so insecure....NO trust you add and yet another blow to my heart....what more can i give, what more can i ask..
Somehow i dont feel like continue this post anymore, so tata for now guys
I can safely say my education has never deteriorated even with MASSAD. I wont say this proudly because studying in Russia is no mean feat. Practically anyone can do it. I will elaborate more about their education system maybe in future post. Like one a great friend once told me, " No one is born smart or stupid, just that either people are lazy or hardworking". That practically makes sense. But of course in Russia there are a few troublesome lecturers so cant really blame some students
I really have neglected my friends back in Singapore and Malaysia. Guys, i really miss you. You're the best and never disappointed me no matter how many times i disappointed you guys. I really hope i can make time for you guys to skype and chat about our usual banter
Well im sick of rumours and everything. I really feel people have no better things to do in their lives than to talk about other people. It's so superficial of them as if they are so perfect. This kind of people disgust me and i have zero tolerance. So what if i am who i am.....deal with it
Lastly i dont know why but it seems its getting worse. Did i do anything wrong? Did i blame you? Did i gossip about you? No i didnt...yet i feel so insecure....NO trust you add and yet another blow to my heart....what more can i give, what more can i ask..
Somehow i dont feel like continue this post anymore, so tata for now guys
Tuesday 7 December 2010
Return
Back to blogging once again,
It's been quite long since my last post. Lots have happened since the last post and thats why i have been kept busy. Finally i am able to breathe a huge sigh of relief even if its for a while.
Taking charge of MASSAD has been one one the biggest responsibility given to me and so far things are looking as green as the grass. Well im proud of each of my committee members who strive to put hard work to make this semester goals a success and where we reap joy.
Well, secondly i feel really trust is difficult as really people and rumors. Haizz people just can focus on their on lifes but focus more on other people lives. I really cant see the rationale behind this. Yes i know alot of rumours have been circulating about me, but i choose to ignore and let other people decide if its really true. People should make decision by themselves
Well thats all i wanna say today as now time to watch some footie
It's been quite long since my last post. Lots have happened since the last post and thats why i have been kept busy. Finally i am able to breathe a huge sigh of relief even if its for a while.
Taking charge of MASSAD has been one one the biggest responsibility given to me and so far things are looking as green as the grass. Well im proud of each of my committee members who strive to put hard work to make this semester goals a success and where we reap joy.
Well, secondly i feel really trust is difficult as really people and rumors. Haizz people just can focus on their on lifes but focus more on other people lives. I really cant see the rationale behind this. Yes i know alot of rumours have been circulating about me, but i choose to ignore and let other people decide if its really true. People should make decision by themselves
Well thats all i wanna say today as now time to watch some footie
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