Reality Hurts Real Badly

Have you ever felt alone and nothing makes sense? Thats how i kinda feel right now....facing everything by myself and nothing but tears and a fake smile

Being away from loved ones takes a toll and heavy burden. Everyday i reminiscent about them, wishing i could be with them right now. I just dont know how lovely they are to be with.

In Moscow, facing people has been so disappointing. Especially hostel life. Rumours run and spread like a fire on a bush. People judge people and its an ugly quality. Why i can even trust anyone here. Its so pathetic that this are the traits of future doctors. So how can Malaysia produce doctors with this kind of attitude?

I feel under appreciated. People forget you, forget what you have done for them and even how they have impacted your life. It seems like a distant memory. People just seem to be selfish to just divert the blame elsewhere. Yet i have to be the better man and apologize all the time. Im sick of it.

You think you seem to know people by spending time with them and really trying to foster a kind of meaningful relationship. You make sacrifices and somehow its goes all wrong. In the end I get hurt, always i and no one else. 

This Christmas i just wanna give more and more. I giving everything i have away. I dont have stability to even stop and thinking of what im giving. This Christmas i just wanna be alone and just wonder the " could, might and shall be".